For starters, welcome to the umpteeth incarnation of my blog.. This one I will try and keep up to date.
I was at a tech conference today and here are some of my thoughts:
- First and foremost: What happened to the motherfucking Wi-Fi?
- Calling cardboard sandwiches wrapped in plastic “snacks” would be pushing it. Calling it lunch is known as Bullshit. Airline food would’ve been an upgrade.. No food would have been an improvement..
- Questions to speakers should be written and handed to the moderator. That way we can avoid the “how long is a piece of string” line of questioning, particularly by people who do not possess the necessary language skills to understand the response.
- I hate it when I’m made to feel like my 300 dollar registration fee went towards paying some total jackass’ hotel room.
- Speaking of jackasses, I love founders who memorize their fucking slides then can barely respond when a panelist asks their name. God forbid they are asked a number, the clicker will work furiously until the totally overcrowded Excel spreadsheet is found and instead of a number, a reboot of the founder’s life story ensues. I felt like ripping the armrest off my seat, running onto the stage and attempting to stab said founder with the soft, round, fabric end of it.
- If you are a European investor asked to pitch yourself to the crowd just for fun, for, say, 3 minutes, do NOT start with “I didn’t prepare for this”. Just.. just.. don’t. It’s not endearing, and it sure as shit ain’t funny. It’s fucking retarded.
- When a founder responds to a panelist – who is 110% correct and I mean SMACK ON THE MONEY – that they’re half right — I feel like giving that founder half a middle finger..
- I would cut off my own pinky if FOR ONCE a founder stood up and said “Thank God you pointed that out, we had totally missed that..”
Watch out for my notes from tomorrow’s Webit Conference.
That’s all for now.